My darling iron butterfly,
I know under normal circumstances you would have gotten the
first of these letters at a later stage, but somehow you have lived a world of
experiences far too old for someone as young as you, a bit too early.
It’s January 10th 2018, and I think it’s finally
time for you to know what and who you truly are. The world has left its
infinite amount of bruises, scrapes and cuts on you but you turned them into
beautiful scars without losing your ability to dream.
Men came and monsters left, but through it all you always
loved hard and long. At the tender age of 15, 16 and up until 24 you held onto people who weren’t
meant to stay and lost more than just your sense of peace along the way.
I take full responsibility for forcing you to grow up beyond
your years and giving you secrets to carry that were too heavy for your
innocence to understand. At 16 I forced you to endure the abuse of a man who
didn’t look at you as a person and for that, I am so very sorry. I allowed you
to be traded as change for his ever growing ego and the price you paid was one
that would never be replaceable.
Years passed and I further forced you to interact with people
who didn’t deserve to be in your presence, who didn’t value your grace, belittled
your strength, abused your beauty and for that I don’t think sorry will ever suffice.
But my beautiful darling, you are more than I have allowed
you to give yourself credit for and you are greater than even I had an
inclining about. You are more woman than I had known and more innocent than the
world is used to, but don’t let it go.
You have beautifully taken your experience and created
kindness. You have helped me understand what surrendering to God’s plan really
is and for that I am forever grateful.
I can’t promise you that you won’t encounter hate again, in
all fairness you do every day, but I will never again let you become the
doormat to their unfinished inner battles. For this you have my eternal word.
You are an ocean of strength, love, grace, humility, bravery,
faith, conviction, instinct, and so much more. But through it all you are
beautiful, and you have earned every wave that makes up your never ending
depth.
I can’t do much to make you understand how grateful I am for
your unwavering friendship and loyalty but remember this, my love… You are
beautiful. You are. For all the people who commented, the naysayers that
pointed and laughed, the ones that told you not to believe in yourself, you are
far above.
I love you, my angel and I hope you have a beautiful year.
Until the next time I write you, it’s time for me to have your back for all the
years that you’ve had mine, and the ones to follow.
All my love,
Yours.
Dilz
