Do You?

We’ve been acquaintances for far too long

Stealing glances and shifting looks in crowded rooms

Time has passed and some feelings under this bridge

Years have left their mark on our lives and this

But then one cool October evening

In the middle of an old, quaint tavern

We shared what we had left silent for far too long

We caressed the memory of what we knew

Your apprehension mixed with the idea of us

My comfort intertwined with the laughter you brought

Finally after all these years, our eyes met

At last, all those stolen memories turned into midnight kisses

Secrets were shared over full glasses of rum

Our vision blurred, but the possibilities were clear

You couldn’t believe the burdens I’ve been carrying alone

And I could finally tell you all the things you thought I didn’t know

You, the funny one, with peace to offer the world

Me, the dubious soul, with demons that I couldn’t silence

But at 2 AM with rum in our veins and you on my lips

I knew what you always have too

Morning came and those moments put back in the closet

The sun rose and so did doubt and ‘what if’

I know you like you have always known yourself

You see me, in the way that I wish I saw myself

But you have a life back home and someone waiting

I have a heart that’s been broken, and doubt unforgiving

I’ve said my apology and let go of this dream

And I can only sit here and wonder

Do you ever wonder about me?

Dilz

Oh, Dubious One.

Split decisions

Long nights

What’s right?

Is it wrong?

Can I reverse time?

Is it all gone?

Swift strength

Invisible battle scars

Empty bottles

A sea of cigarette butts

What did I do?

Can it be undone?

Below the line

Above the rest

Inbetween the mess

It won’t recede

Scream for help

Quick, but be discreet

What’s the time?

Is it June 2018 yet?

Silly girl

That’s not how it works

What will you do

In front of the world?

Unforgiving territory

You chose this

Remember, you chose this?

Don’t give up now

Don’t hit reverse

Keep your eyes on shifting grounds

My love

You’ve come this far

There’s more to see

We discussed ‘messy’

Remember we did?

This is how you break free

Oh, dubious one

Shed this old skin

Don’t think too much

Don’t ponder too hard

We’ve got this, okay?

We’re back at the start

Rewrite all you like

This is yours to live

We’ll get through

Don’t avoid these moutains

Don’t hide your light

We’re going to win this

Oh, my old friend

Cry all you like

Don’t you hold back

Don’t lose your might

We talked about this

It’s just you & I

No one can do this for you

You have to buck up

I wish I knew more

But I’m learning too

Come on, brave girl

You know what to do

And whenever you need it

I’m right here for you.

- Diya Vasuraj -

Is This A Life?

They warn you about failure

But no one tells you about its ability to decay your soul

A fantasy life crumbles in the face of reality

Strength dissolves like the painkillers that don’t work

It’s true what they say in all the stories

You come into this world alone, and you leave the same

Pouring up some darkness, my friend’s calling out to me

And by the time day breaks and dawns upon these tired eyes

It’s a sea of empty bottles and cigarette packets

Forgetting everything that hurts, in the haze of a high

Dazed from demons and dancing devils

Is this what they call a life?

Dilz 

Warm Monday Musings

Stopped at a train crossing, old Hindi songs adding calm to my chaos

There's a quiet stillness in this Monday afternoon air

A lull before the sea of traffic starts to engulf me in its wrath

Everyone running out of time to get somewhere, do something, be someone

Someone's on their way to break a heart, start a love story, make a big decision, start afresh, make a dream come true, claim a lost love, carve a new path

The possibilities of a soul's ability to be great is endless

But the constant cloud of responsibility looms low, a palpable unsurety

Nothing comes too easily they say

But what is 'easily'?

At this crossroads of an ever changing life

Aren't we all nothing but dots that join to form a bigger picture

The pawns in the universe's chess game of possibility vs. reality

Questions with no answers, answers with  no foundation, a foundation built on loosely laid hope

And a hope built on instinct seldom paid attention to.

A craving for a new world. A rolodex of scenic simplicity just waiting to drown me.

Oh how I dream of breathing a different air.

Dilz

Change

Change can be an exceptional friend when welcomed, but a looming storm when feared. You see, I have come to learn, that life is nothing more than a string of wonderful events if we feel so inclined to look at it as such. Finding a backbone, starting a fresh, learning to say ‘no’ with more politeness than some might find necessary are all the key elements to a wonderful story.

The thing about stories is, often times like their protagonists, their beauty lies in what is yet to be discovered. Without change such stories die natural deaths, with their hands attached to laptops and their worlds ending within 4x4 foot plywood walls.

Fear is often times like a shadow that we cannot shake, for at least its real life counterpart sleeps at night, but fear never does. I haven’t gotten too far in my story, but it’s been a swell introduction to self and an even better romance with life.

Dilz

A New Chapter

Journeys change and new diversions are inevitable. With a lap full of memories, a heart full of wisdom and a soul full of gratitude, I embark on a new adventure. Keeping in mind what matters and what doesn’t, life always has a weird way of surprising me wonderfully.

This world is made up of two people, people who do good without expectation and people who expect without reason. I have met more of the latter but the few formers have made this journey so beautiful.

As the time comes close to pull up my sassy socks and take the big step forward, I can only feel utter gratitude for the life I get to live and the people I get to call mine.

Man it feels good to feel good.

Dilz

A Hopeful Could Be

Someone told me you weren’t real

But my soul somehow knows otherwise

Something about universe vibes

And when it just feels right

I’ve danced with a few souls in my time

Some beautiful, some lost

Some demonic, others just for a moment

But I know I need yours the most

A faceless knight in shining armor

An everyday silent hero

Looking for a heart just like mine

So we both can keep giving more

Fights that go into hopeless romance

Tears that morph into silent laughter

An “I’m home and I miss you already”

Nothing ‘perfect’, just infinitely better

Summers have found their way into monsoon

And browns have joined hands with green

There’s a change in this new breeze

Maybe this is the season you’ll find me

An unsure little mess of memories

A dreamer with the fear of reality

A romantic with a hint of black

But between it all, a hopeful could be

Dilz