I Broke My Own Heart.

The first showers of this year
Have found their place
In the crevices of old pavements 
In the curves of dusty leaves
Little pieces of my mixed up soul
Lay like crystal on my skin
At the depth of little droplets
I lay to rest this year of pain
These long months of loneliness
And dried up hurt on my pillow
My mind still drifts 
To a place where your memory still exists
The place where that wedding dress
Is hanging right near that home
And all those whispered I love yous
In all these months 
My phone didn't ring once
I planned for your weak moments
But they never did come
I've forgotten what you look like now
And my heart is learning to forget your touch
Accepting truth has been my greatest achievement 
In the light of my loss of you
Sitting at old tea stalls
Wondering what I missed
And where I missed it
Standing at bus stops
And tears roll down without warning 
Hiding my pain in long sweater sleeves 
Knowing now, you never loved me
Oh baby, what a fool for you I'd been
Promises you spewed like they were nothing
And my naive soul fluttering 
At the thought of all that you could mean
So quickly I let myself fall 
So many of your tests 
I was willing to work to pass
Ignoring the words you spoke
Of how my weakness was unlovable 
How I let you walk all over me
Thinking it'd be worth it in the end
Thinking I'd have some kind of trophy
To show for my torment 
Oh, the nights I spent wondering
Why there was no knock on that door
With you, drenched in all your pain
On the other side 
You found a new love so quickly
And still my innocence didn't understand 
You moved on in a week
And yet, my heart didn't join those dots 
Almost a year has come and passed 
And only now
With a heavy heart
And with all my shattered dreams 
In my hands 
Do I finally realize 




I broke my own heart









Dilz