I Am Everything You Will Never Be.

Sinning with the devil and making love to an angel. Keeping pace with hell and building castles in heaven. Who knew devils smelled so good and had eyes to make you forget what you thought you knew? Who knew angels could drive you insane and give you the comfort of home with just a brush if their hand across your cheek. Oh the intoxication of a forbidden fruit and the healing hand of a known comfort.

Oh the loop I got myself in where the exit is blurred and the next turn comes even before I finish the previous one. Words whispered at 1 am, forgotten as quickly as the sun starts to rise. Jack Daniels on lying lips and Old Monk laced with love. Plans made under grey clouds and then laid to rest when the sky shows it’s morning hues of blue. Castles of chaos and homes of heart, words of wisdom and laced fingers with lies at their tips.

Up and down back and forth, yes and no, an ocean without a shore. Walking through fire while masking all these burns with a cape of “I’m fine”. Fine’s a feeling? Right? Isn’t it? How could I possibly know. Numb from running, tired of trying, irritated with my own skin. Fingers through my hair, my tongue on your lips, your lies on my breath, my stupidity in your hands. Hands around my waist that feel like a noose around my neck. Madness in your eyes and fear in mine, a game of hearts and a winner on top with poison arrows and neglected instability.

A cage around your world and a noose slowly creating itself around mine, love is the medicine for all aches but for your it’s tears and turmoil. A game of chase ending in the death of my soul, I won’t allow it anymore.

I am more woman than your insignificant manhood can tolerate, I am more strength than your weakness has ever known. I am a walking heart while you are a writhing world of filth.

I create infinities of purity while you create a vortex of insanity.

Darling, you thought my innocence wouldn’t see through your toxicity, but guess what?

I am everything you will never be. 

Dilz