Everyday my chest closes up and I can’t breathe
I suddenly feel like I need to take a deep breath and close my eyes
The walls look at me with judgment over the decisions I’ve made
And sometimes, I can almost feel my conscience breaking up with me
I pray for days where I don’t need to write out my last name
Because then I know his name will be etched in my handwriting for the 100th time
Days go by too soon and nights drag on without a definite end
Glasses of Old Monk go down like water
And water goes down like lumps in my throat that I can’t wash away
Cigarette stained lips lie beneath my tired eyes
I look to the trees and all I can see are our dreams tied to their branches
I look to the sky and all I wonder is… Is he looking up too?
Picking fight with God for no reason
And apologizing in the morning because I don’t know where else to go
I spend all my time wondering what’s wrong with me
Because what happened is a good thing, I’m right?
Am I… Right?
I keeping picturing alternate endings and not once could I imagine
My hands won’t have a home to hold
And my soul will never have its best friend back
Funny thing heart break is, in all its broken elements
In all its heavy glory
All I wonder is, why did it pick me?
Why this time?
Dilz
