Peace.

Maya Angelou and Oprah Winfrey have soon become the guiding lights that my life so desperately needed, apart from my angel of a mother.

Sometimes when lessons come at you faster than you can catch them or understand them, the overwhelming feeling of not being enough tends to take over.

My teachers come in all shapes and sizes, with different hearts and eccentric souls but each one full of a knowledge that I don’t yet know. 

Each one making me want to explore my own being and find in its depth if there are the same thoughts or feelings that I harbor.

What makes me so different from the rest? What ingredients do I possess that makes me feel things so differently or understand other souls so deeply? Is it a curse, could it be a blessing?

All these years of loneliness, wondering why God picked me to be this carrier. Why I was chosen amongst so many others, more deserving, more capable.

Sitting in rooms full of people with opinions, strong views, strong ideals and knowing that mine don’t fit anywhere. Knowing that mine have a depth that might not be understood or appreciated. Maybe they won’t relate to the wholeness of my feelings or the reality of their density.

That one statement I couldn’t accept until now. Just three little words with the power to change everything.

I. Am. Different.

Three words. So many years. So much trauma. So much lonliness. So many questions. So many sleepless nights.

One realization.

So much peace.

Dilz