What Is A Life?

A foolish little girl fell flat on her face again. Fall down 7 times, stand up 8? At least that’s how people say you’re supposed to deal with it. You see the thing about conviction in self is that you need to have it regardless of where the opposing opinion comes from. Father, mother, sister, brother, best friend, aunt, uncle, cousin, whoever.

But can you be a walking contradiction of pleasing the ones you love while preparing for a dream they don’t understand? Can you live a happy life like that, or is it doomed from the start? Do they REALLY not understand or is that a convenient opinion?

The thing about scars is that, while you might not make the cut on yourself, you’re still forced to carry the scar of someone else’s self hate. You see when you cut yourself, you know how that scar is going to look. So if you want a scar that’ll fade, you do a hairline cut and if you are okay with a scar that will stay, then you dig a little deeper.

But the thing about cuts that other people control is that they cut as deep as they want depending on how much self loathing they possess. Or as soft as they like depending on how much love they have for your existence. Since they don’t need to feel the pinch of the blade, the frivolity with which it is used is seldom changed.

We grow into adults with thoughts different from each others’. Different needs, different hopes, different wants, different childhoods, different demons, different angels but one need. Love.

How can you expect a tree to grow, where the seed has not yet been watered? Like a cactus saves its resources, we save our hearts. No not that boy, not that family, he can’t have that job, not that car, not that attitude, not that sense of style, not that kind of humor.

We forget it’s just one life. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, and just like that we’re all gone. An entire life of memories, living, breathing, laughing, eating, hoping, praying, gone in a second. Then you become a memory, a used to be, a once upon a time, a story.

So the little time we have on this Earth, what is the right way to spend it? Thinking everything through? Making only informed decisions? Listening to logic before love? Pleasing people we love before our own hearts? Listening to reason and not ridiculous could bes?

I don’t know how to possess the strength enough to know better and do better and make the ones I love happy all at the same time.

But then again, is that a life?

Dilz